“Get your priorities straight!”

I feel that is practically screaming at me... I’m afraid that... my priorities and tasks that I’ve gone through from before will crumble due to this, I suppose I really am afraid of that. I’m afraid I’ll disappoint others who have helped and supported me along the way, as well as myself. I’ve noticed in the past that one of the things that have disappointed others is due to my screwed priorities, because I thought me being able to handle whatever comes would be something I could handle, but that doesn’t look like that’s it...

I had heard that putting others before yourself can end up badly since you’re unable to care for yourself, so I pretty much followed that. That could lead to making promises you cannot keep and what not. But then I noticed I should take care of myself more, and due to fact I never really got my priorities straight, I ended up seemingly selfish in a situation with others, and I got the first wake-up call then. I did regret that.

I know the second call happened with something that came not personally, but nonetheless me not knowing my priorities I have not done as well as I would’ve wished. I seriously cannot let this continue, it’s not a path I will be proud of. The one I am proud of is the one I can live as care freely as possible, knowing what I’m doing. And I will follow through with what I’ve started, since there’s no point starting a thousand kilometres walk and stopping halfway.

My priorities... that as of I now I feel is the biggest flaw of me. A problem like that hasn’t made me happy, and it’s been the same for more than twice. Therefore, something must change... me...what do I want? How can I make my priorities as straightforward as possible...? My motivation here is the fact that I’ll be the same. I must realise how afraid I am, I cannot allow a ‘too late’ situation, it’ll hurt as much as it does now. ^^ goodnight.
- teriyakkii_1203

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